Geoffrey is sitting quietly in a pew at the church, a few rows back. He is staring endlessly at the altar. He is dressed in his cassock. It is evening.
I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence. Isaiah, verse 43, lines 25 and 26.
[Looks at the audience]
I knew, you know. I suspected it right from the beginning. The way she spoke, what she said, the way she was - it all gave it away. I didn't tell her though. [Looks at altar] God will forgive her, for she has sinned. [Looks back at audience] Susan despises being called Mrs Vicar. I don't think she even believes in God. 'You never see pictures of Jesus smiling, do you?' she asked me, and I respond 'Good point, Susan.' The doubt is a side effect.
It was hard work though, keeping her secret. I tried to hide the signs of her problem from the world. The Bishop asked me how outgoing Susan is and I told him very. I told him that she tends to the bedside of dying pensioners, arranges the altar flowers, delivers Meals On Wheels and still, miraculously, has the time to put together a delicious lunch. You can probably guess that I lied. I lied to a Bishop in the eyes of God. That wasn't the only time, she knocked over the Carnation Milk once. I turned the other cheek and told everyone it was me.
The thing is, I don't think I am lying to save Susan - I am lying to save myself. To save my reputation. So does that make me as much of a sinner as her?
[Pause] [Walks over to stand behind the altar, fiddles with Communion wine cup whilst staring at it]
It became apparent to me the day the Communion wine went missing. I was leading a service, you see, and went to retrieve the wine. It had been drank. Susan seemed unconcerned and oblivious to knowing who it was. She told me to just get some normal.
[Pause]
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit. Ephesians, verse 5 line 18.
[Puts cup down and looks at audience, both hands rested on altar]
Do you take me for a fool? Did she do the same?
[Removes coloured stole from around neck, folds neatly and leaves on altar before returning to pew]
Envy is another side effect. The parishioners are so kind to me, they spoil me rotten. Making me tea and lunch. Susan is never among those. I heard her muttering to herself once about me, saying I had a fanclub. Their kindness kills her.
[Pause]
Makes a good story though, don't you think? Everyone thinks it has brought us together. Susan thinks that too. We are changed people now, she says. We're a team. I admitted it to the parish and Bishop for my own benefit. Another sin. The Bishop told me I was just the kind of man he was looking for - someone who's been there. Yes, I have been there. I have been there and back (you can say that again). My wife is an alcoholic and had a suspected affair. Although I haven't confirmed the later with her. I can't bear to face more sins.
[Pause]
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you.
[Fade out]
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